Create warm hearted relationships. Predictably And Consistently.

We know where joy comes from, did you know that? Joy comes from those who are glad to be with us. We all want it and experience it in many different ways. God intended it that way. God designed us for eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart, smile-to-smile connection. It all starts with eye contact.

“Did you see how she responded to you? ” asked my son Chris. Chris noticed the effect of this daily experience of a smile on her. "Her face looked really sad and when you smiled at her she brightened up and kept smiling. Sharing joy, sharing eye contact brought her joy. 

What is joy? From a brain science perspective, "joy is not happiness", says Michel Hendricks. It is "happy to be together-ness".  

It's joy when you and I feel that someone in our lives (maybe a person or maybe God) is glad to be with us.  

My thoughts turned to a couple of questions.

• Who is your favorite person to be with? Do they bring you joy?
• Who is most happy to be with you? Do you bring them joy?
• "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Do you hear this as information or as an experience of God who loves to be with you and whose presence gives you strength? He would love you to have this experience.

It's easy to think of joy as that burst of happiness we feel when we score in sport, or when we experience victories, testimonials, and fun of any kind. However, that's not what we are thinking about when we talk about joy. These are all positive things, but they are not our focus. It is possible to be happy to be together in times of tragedy, just as it is in times of success. Whenever we feel anger, sadness or loss, being together can provide comfort. Being together can provide comfort: the feeling of being connected as we go through life together. 

Are there any benefits?

Among the benefits of experiencing this heart-to-heart connection, this joy of being together, are:

• An improved brain chemistry
• Increased resilience
• Increased sense of connection with people and others.
• Experiencing God as our friend and comforter.

In turn, this leads to 

• Reducing your dependency on false comforts, such as sugar and addictions, that numb your sadness and overwhelm. The result will be that you will feel better, be healthier, and have a better mood.
• In addition, you will be more likely to make friends.
• Improved relationships because of your ability to handle things you were previously incapable of.
• A greater sense of stability in your life.
• Despite adversity, the ability to be with God, pray, and help others.
• Establishing warm relationships with others. Consistently and predictably.



We will continue to explore the joy at the heart of Joyskills in the next post.